Freshers’ Week 2016: 15 things every student should definitely (not) do

3) Collect every single wristband three times over and wear them all on nights out - just in case people don’t know how wild you are

(Marcin Lachowicz)

Freshers’ Week - and year - is all about making friends, trying new things, and maybe making some different friends later on. But, before that, let’s run through 15 of the most obnoxious things you could do during these first few weeks that will definitely make you really popular…

During Freshers’ Week:

1) Be sure to tell everyone you meet how you spent the last six months backpacking across South-East Asia

2) Spend all of your student loan on extravagant things to show your new housemates how much of a baller you are

3) Collect every single wristband three times over and wear them all on nights out - just in case people don’t know how wild you are

4) At your Freshers’ Fair, sign up to every single society using your housemate’s email address. Hilarious.

5) When you feel your freshers’ flu coming on, make sure to infect your entire flat so that everyone gets the same amazing experience

In halls/accommodation:

6) Label everything you own with your full name and address in sharpie

7) Make sure you leave all of your dirty pots and pans in the sink for someone else to do - they’ll definitely appreciate it

8) In case anyone in your flat is studying biology, make sure you leave food to go mouldy in the fridge for them to analyse in the future

9) Leave your door unlocked and open, all day, every day

10) Reject all online friend requests from your housemates. If they want to be your friend, they have to earn it

In your first few weeks:

11) Avoid all introductory seminars, meet and greets, and inductions. What a waste of time

12) If you accidentally end up in the wrong lecture, don’t bother leaving. Just sit there awkwardly and ask as many questions as possible

13) On your first group project, don’t do any work - it’ll set up you up nicely for the rest of your degree

14) Talk and don’t pay attention during your initial lectures to demonstrate how indifferent you are to education

15) Make sure you accept all of the friend requests from promoters on Facebook

Lizzi Hart is a linguistics graduate and a marketing assistant at the Graduate Recruitment Bureau