Beam Me Down

This week's random co-ordinates chosen by the computer are:

27 33' N 53 01' E

FIRST REACTION

God is Great!

COUNTRY AND REGION

This is the far south-western corner of Hormozgan province in Iran, on the Persian Gulf, facing Qatar and the United Arab Emirates across the water.

NEAREST SETTLEMENT

The nearest village is Garbaruli, less than 10 miles to the south.

NATURE OF THE TERRAIN

Pretty barren. This part of Iran is little more than an extension of the Arabian peninsula as far as rainfall is concerned.

ALTITUDE

You have actually landed on an 800m ridge overlooking the coast.

LIKELY WEATHER CONDITIONS

It may now be winter, but things will hardly be cool. Expect relentless sunshine, high humidity and temperatures nudging 30C.

USEFUL LANGUAGES

Farsi, the national language of Iran, is spoken by all. In these coastal areas you will also find plenty of Arabic speakers.

POSSIBLE HAZARDS

You could find yourself being arrested for entering the country without a visa, but only because people are not accustomed to seeing foreign tourists in this area.

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER

President Khatami, who enjoyed a landslide victory in 1997, has published several books and speaks various foreign languages, including English.

REASONS FOR HANGING AROUND

Kangan in Bushehr Province, about 60 miles up the coast to the west, is a pretty little fishing village. Otherwise, head north into Fars Province, the traditional heartland of ancient Persia, where you will find not only the modern city of Shiraz (fabled in Persian poetry for its wine and beautiful women) but also the fabulous ruins of Persepolis, city of Cyrus and Darius.

GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE

Walk down the hill in front of you to join the small coastal road a few miles below. From there you should be able to hitch a ride for the couple of hundred miles to Bandar Abbas, which has international flights as well as the possibility of boat rides to Dubai across the Gulf.