Well done Adam Ramsay Peaty for taking your wife’s name – more men should do it

The British swimming champion is on to a winner with his unusual wedding day choice, writes Victoria Richards. There’s a taboo about changing your name – and it needs to stop

What’s in a name? Well, according to Adam Ramsay Peaty, quite a lot, actually. The British swimmer has just stuck two fingers up at societal expectation and taken his wife’s name, following their glittering, star-studded December wedding at Bath Abbey – and I’m here for it.

Ramsay Peaty, who’s 31, married celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay’s daughter Holly, 25, on December 27, in a ceremony that was as full of intrigue as it was A-list guests (including the Beckhams). In fact, the six-time Olympic gold medallist tore up tradition – twice.

For not only were his parents absent from the ceremony, following rumours of a family rift after Holly reportedly failed to invite her prospective mother-in-law to her hen do, but the former Strictly star appears to have given himself a brand new name to boot – changing his public profile to “Adam Ramsay Peaty” on Instagram. And as far as I’m concerned, he’s on to a winner. There’s a taboo about changing your name, particularly for men – and it needs to stop.

If you’re shaking your head and tutting at the idea of this new “woke” tradition, then I’d ask you this: Have you ever stopped to think about why women are expected to change their name when they get married?

Here’s a short history lesson: In England, in the 16th century – when using surnames became more popular – women started taking their husband’s names upon getting married. Legally, when that happened, all of her property was automatically transferred to her spouse. The law “took” a woman’s name away and “gave” everything she owned to her husband. The practice soon caught on (of course, because it benefited the men in charge) and by the early 1900s, was standard right across Europe – and was even mandatory in Sweden by 1920.

Marriage, in fact, was never meant to be about love and giddy, dizzy strength of feeling, of finding a “soulmate”. The original meaning of marriage was possession. Marriage was designed to give women economic security; to pass on the responsibility for the woman from the father to the husband.

So, upon marriage, husbands became women’s legal guardians, “until death us do part”. That’s the legacy that led to women shedding their names – but thanks to the likes of enlightened lads like Ramsay Peaty, I’m hopeful it won’t be for too much longer. No woman should be routinely changing her name on marriage – it’s practically 2026, for goodness sake.

Thankfully, the number of women choosing to include their birth names alongside their spouse’s surname after getting married is rising – and the number of women keeping their birth name altogether is also rising. The Deed Poll Office, a law firm that specialises in name changes, released statistics showing that requests from newlyweds to keep their maiden names alongside their spouse’s surname (rather than change it completely) went up by 30 per cent in the past few years alone.

Finally, it seems, women are catching up – and in my opinion, it couldn’t come soon enough. We are not chattel.

And I’m speaking from experience, because I went through the heteronormative rituals of marriage, just like so many of my friends and peers. When I got married in 2009, I changed my last name to my husband’s on my official records – on my passport, with the GP surgery. But it never felt right. It never felt like “me”. And how could it? I’d had my name, my identity, for 30 years. Yet overnight, I was expected to become someone else (and even worse: a “Mrs” Someone Else).

It made no real sense at all: I was already a part of my husband’s family, so why did I need to give up the name that had carried me since birth? And so, I put it right (or, as I see it: righted a wrong). I changed my name back by deed poll for the paltry sum of £36 – and immediately felt like “me” again. And I would urge every woman to do the same. Our identities are paramount – so why do women give them up so easily?

When I ask friends their reasons for wanting to change their names when they get married, they say they want the same last name as their kids; that they want to be seen as a “united front” or “family unit”. I understand the conditioning and romanticism around naming – but it still makes me uneasy, because it’s just another way in which women are expected to let go of their own identity to merge with that of their spouse, just as mothers were expected to let go of their right to be named on their children’s marriage certificates (until a change thankfully occurred in 2021).

And it’s never, ever the same the other way around – men are not held to the same patriarchal expectations. If they were, Ramsay Peaty’s groundbreaking move wouldn’t even raise eyebrows. We wouldn’t be thinking, talking (or writing) about it.

I support every woman’s right to make a personal choice about whether or not they marry – but I strongly believe no woman should ever take her husband’s name. It’s an outdated tradition that needs to stop; because it only serves to reinforce damaging gender stereotypes. Plus, with the danger of the “manosphere” all around us and women’s rights under threat worldwide, it’s more important than ever that we think about what we’re modelling to our kids. Misogyny harms both men and women – and women routinely taking their husband’s name is rooted in misogyny.

So, I’ll tell you what I’ll toast: I’ll raise a glass to those who keep their own names and those who come up with a welcome new arrangement. We’ve made some progress, but we shouldn’t have to wait for outdated, patriarchal customs to become the exception, rather than the norm. It’s on women, now, to say “I don’t” – and on men to say “I do”.