Janet Street-Porter: Set an example, Tony, and holiday in Britain

How important is it to think of the environment when planning your holiday? If you're Prime Minister, not really. Although we are told all governmental activity will be carbon-neutral by 2015, and that Downing Street leads the way in energy conservation and recycling, Mr Blair clearly thinks that when he's relaxing, it's no one business but his own. His conscience stops when he runs up the steps of that jet whisking him off to Florida, Tuscany or wherever the sun is shining.

Mr Blair tells an interviewer that not one politician would risk asking people to take their holidays closer to home in order to save the planet, as it's unrealistic and impractical (in other words, a real vote loser). The next day he's suddenly decided to offset the carbon emissions from his latest family jaunt - forced into an environmental rethink after front-page headlines condemned his lack of joined-up green thinking.

The Blairs have consistently refused to take any real holidays in Britain during his nine years in office; last summer was spent in Barbados, in 2004 they visited Tuscany, Sardinia, Athens and Barbados, and for Christmas and New Year in December 2005 they went to Egypt. I can think of a couple of fleeting visits to the West Country and the Lake District, but that's about it.

Contrast that with most readers of this newspaper, who will be spending more time on minibreaks in Britain this year than ever before. It's a growing trend, for all sorts of reasons. There is nowhere more beautiful, inspiring and rewarding than the British countryside. Demanding visitors from Europe and America flock to our brilliant chefs and comfortable hotels. Yet our leader would rather eat a plate of fast food in a horrible suburb of Miami, full of nasty faux-posh houses, characterless shopping malls and zero green spaces. The man is a total philistine. He hasn't really got the family as an excuse either - I'm sure most of the kids would rather be off with their friends, and little Leo is too young to care.

I'm all for personal choice, but if someone runs for high office, they have a duty to set an example. Mr Blair can abide by this mantra when it suits him, talking about family values and his Respect agenda, but conveniently drops it when it comes to holidays. He wants London to host the Olympics as it's such an extraordinary place - but can't face a week in Scotland or Yorkshire, which would undoubtedly send a message to travellers all over the world that the rest of our country is worth a visit too. His sponsorship of our domestic tourism industry would bring in millions of pounds of business, but he can't be arsed. Nothing reveals his personal taste more than his tacky choice of holidays.

Contrast Mr Blair's attitude with a letter I received the other day from Phil Dance, a reader in Yorkshire, enclosing a log of all the walks he completed in Britain in 2006, from Northumberland to the Borders, around the Yorkshire Dales, along the Cleveland Way and through the Forest of Bowland. The pleasure he had leaps out from every line. There's no talk of jet lag, airport queuing, lost baggage or all-you-can-eat diners.

The psychologist Oliver James has written a book about a new affliction he calls Affluenza - the desire to keep up with your neighbours and to over-consume in a fruitless pursuit of happiness. We increasingly think we "need" expensive houses, new cars, lavish holidays. Mr Blair is a victim of "affluenza" if ever I saw one, desperate to inhabit the fantasy homes and play in the speedboats of the rich and tasteless on his hard-earned holidays, in the hope that a little bit of the glamour will rub off on him. The bubble will soon be bursting, baby.

The discreet charm of Ms Goody

Jade Goody, monster megamouth or compelling media star? There is only one person worth turning on Celebrity Big Brother for (and as it's dull January, it's a cheap treat) and that's Jade, with her svelte figure (allegedly achieved by liposuction, according to The Sun), snappy new hairstyle and super-white gnashers.

Ratings are lower than last year, but Jade has proved compelling viewing. The sisterhood, who once disdained the girl, have leapt to her defence - in the arts pages of The Daily Telegraph, a female columnist talks of Jade's "essential sweetness". Phew! It's surely the vision of Jackiey, the mother from hell, that has brought about this change. Jackiey, an appalling advertisement for lesbians and motherhood, is clearly a source of embarrassment and concern for Jade. Who cares if her exercise video isn't the reason for her flat stomach? It will sell to the same thousands of fans who bought her perfume.

* I most definitely will not be attending Menopause: The Musical, opening in London on 27 March. The idea of shelling out £39.50 to sit through an evening with Su Pollard playing a character called Rutland Housewife, taking us through a musical extravaganza in which 25 hit songs have new lyrics focusing on all things female and middle aged, leaves me slightly nauseous. The show has been a hit in nine countries, from the USA to Canada and New Zealand - but that's no recommendation - so was The Vagina Monologues, also starring Su Pollard. I was flattered to be sent the script when they were casting the Monologues, but soon realising that anyone over 40 with a vagina and a loud mouth was on the list - I wisely turned down the opportunity to appear on a stage and eulogise what lies between my legs. The writer of Menopause claims: "the show is a celebration of a life passage that launches women into a new, exciting phase of their lives...". I'm sure that middle-aged women will have a lot more fun at a wine bar with a gang of mates, thanks a lot.