Anthony Seldon: Don't worry, be happy

Our nation is rich – so why are we so miserable? As more of us turn to anti-depressants, we must teach our children to embrace life without running to the GP as soon as trouble hits

Britain is becoming more than ever dependant on artificial props to make life liveable. There has been a 55 per cent increase in drugs prescribed over the past decade, and an estimated doubling of the amount of illegal drugs being taken. Some of the prescribed drugs are, of course, essential: but many are not. I am thinking of tranquilisers, anti-depressants, sleeping pills and the rest.

Over the past decade, Britain has become a more prosperous nation. Yet the research evidence very clearly shows that increasing affluence does not lead to an increase in happiness or well-being. Britain has in fact become a sicker and a less happy nation during those 10 years.

When confronted by unhappiness, boredom, or a sense that life is not what it should be, the average Briton responds in a variety of ways.

Spending money is a staple resort, whether on new and unnecessary cars, a change of home or an extension to an existing property, or on more holidays. These do seem to assuage the appetite for a while, but shopping is as enduring a therapy as a gin and tonic. Many people resort to excessive alcohol drinking: how many readers will find the concept of not having a drink this evening difficult? If the answer to that is "yes", then you have a dependency. Others change their partners or take up with a lover. Again, this is a short-term solution, as the evidence shows that the problems that soured the old relationship rapidly reappear in the new.

Illegal drugs relieve boredom and bring a sense of well-being and release from anxiety. Some users escape unscathed. Many do not. Even marijuana, the "safe drug" for those who grew up in the 1960s, '70s and '80s, is now known to trigger schizophrenia and depression in vulnerable people.

People also resort all too quickly to prescribed drugs, the easy fix. Doctors, many of whom lead poor lives themselves, cannot cope with the problems of their patients any more than they can with their own. A flick of a pen on a prescription pad is an all too common response.

And increasing numbers turn to analysis, therapists or counsellors. This trend has been much maligned. The key is, does the counselling lead to dependency on the part of the "patient", usually in the all-knowing therapist? Or does it lead to increasing autonomy? Because it is the loss of self-reliance, encouraged by the welfare state at its worst, which lies at the root of all the problems. The alcoholic, the depressive and the pill-popper are not independent people: they are – in key areas of their lives – children.

Why the malaise of unhappiness is growing in Britain is hard to say. Some people have pointed to increasing insecurity at home and on the streets, with the fear of teenagers ranking higher in the minds of home owners than the fear of global warming. Others blame the fear of international terrorism. Yet fear and insecurity can reduce anxiety: during the Second World War, recorded rates of mental illness fell, rather than rose. In Northern Ireland since the troubles ended, the suicide rate has leapt.

Unrealistic expectations of life are a more likely cause of the malaise. To many, technology was going to provide the answers, in the form of gadgets to make life easy, and with sophisticated entertainment in the home and car, and even while walking in the streets, keeping the mind busy and warding off thinking. Flat-screen, high-definition colour televisions make us no better or happier than the flickering black-and-white screens of the 1950s. Whoever made us believe that technology would make life happier?

We are not a resilient nation, and find it hard to absorb reversals without falling into depression or running to the doctor. For many people, life is hard and insecure. It involves loss of loved ones, broken relationships, loss of jobs, insecurity and economic hardship.

We do not prepare our young people to lead autonomous lives. They are lulled into thinking that the welfare state and modern technology will cocoon them from hardship. When problems come, they are someone else's fault, and someone else has to help them through it. Modern post-industrial society can be a psychologically unhealthy place.

The real cause of the increase in the rise in the taking of inessential prescription drugs, and of unhappiness more generally, is a retreat from the real world, in which ourmodern, post-industrial society connives. We have allowed what should be natural, authentic and simple become artificial, false and complex.

What has happened is so insidious that it is barely discernible, and many fail even to detect that it is happening. The retreat comes on three levels. In relationships, the quality of family life has deteriorated. Families sit down less frequently for meals, and where they do, conversation is less. Parents spend less time with their children, partners less time with each other, while grandparents are increasingly marginalised.

People touch each other less (touching does not have to be inappropriate). We do not cherish our relationships sufficiently. Too often, it is only when we lose a dear friend or a family member that we realise, too late, what can never again be. Relationships are utterly fundamental to happiness and well-being. And we have let them be sidelined.

Life in modern cities, governed by artificial light, artificial sound and an absence of green is not natural or healthy. We also are losing touch with ourselves. For too many, their bodies, minds and emotions are strangers. The hectic pace of modern life affords too little opportunity for reflection and knowing oneself.

What can be done about all of this? I do not believe any of the traditional resorts – taking of inessential pills, and the rest – is necessary or productive. The millions of people in this position can begin by making a pledge today to reduce their drugs by half within one year and total eradication within two years. Those hooked on recreational drugs can follow the same path, while those dependent on alcohol can pledge to cut down or abandon drink altogether. Once one has committed to this course, it is surprising how easy such a decision can be. If one does not, it begs the question "who is in charge of your life"?

Life needs to be lived more consciously and deliberately, and at a slower pace. Every day one should aim to sit down for at least two periods of five minutes and breathe deeply, learning what is in the mind. Much will not be pleasant. But it is better to accept the reality than to run away from it. The benefits of stillness are quite extraordinary, and the excuses for not sitting still are wholly insubstantial. One such reason is that there is "no time to sit still and do nothing". Not true.

By having periods of stillness each day one increases one's efficiency markedly and allows the rest of the day to be used far more effectively. Learning to live more in tune with nature is fundamental. Engagement with the natural world is key to a happy life. Time spent walking through the countryside, looking after flowers in the garden, or fishing, is known to be therapeutic. Walking in the fresh air in the countryside or a park, and focussing on the environment rather than on one's worries is uplifting.

There is nothing artificial about eating and drinking natural food, and looking after the body properly. Regular exercise is also fundamental. Exercising three times a week for 20 minutes is known to have more effect on combating depression than taking Prozac. The human body was designed to be active. Not exercising the body is itself a depressive factor.

Greater time needs to be laid aside for pursuing one's own interests and hobbies. The demands of work and family simply have to be laid on one side. One is not serving either if one becomes resentful and stale. The paint box, the cello and the grease paint, amongst many other pastimes, should all be taken up with benefit.

The heart, though, of making us a more emotionally, mentally and physically intelligent nation is education. Our schools have become pale shadows of what they could and should be. Children are born with our bodies, yet schools do not provide our young with an "owners' manual" on how their bodies, minds and emotions work. We now have the information on "positive psychology", and schools such as my own, Wellington College, are teaching well-being or happiness in association with academic institutions.

Schools, above all, should be helping their students become autonomous human beings, and this lies at the core of well-being, and a well-lived life. There is no excuse at all for schools now not to be teaching this. What has happened is that schools, with their obsessions with exams, are in fact closing the minds of young people, rather than opening minds and hearts, and showing them how to live.

Reducing depression, anxiety and suicide is one reason for the teaching of these skills: it is much easier to prevent a child from falling over a waterfall than to look after the child or adult once they have fallen to the bottom. The teaching also encourages the young to lead happy, fulfilled and creative lives, by developing all their faculties within, including their moral, spiritual, aesthetic and social aptitudes.

The National Health Service needs to change every bit as radically as our education system. Powerful vested interests have built up to look after bodies and minds once they are broken. But the effort needs to be put into stopping minds and bodies becoming unwell in the first place. Again we have this knowledge; all it needs is the political will.

How much longer are we going to carry on as we are? We are becoming sicker by the decade. If current trends continue, we will all be taking prescription drugs before the next century. Britain is beautiful, most of us do not have to worry where our shelter or next meal will come from, and we are surrounded by good people: yet we squander it, and retreat into unreal palliatives when we should be embracing life. It is time that we started to change, before yet more lives are wasted and stunted. Time is running out. If we do nothing, we face a consequence as threatening to us all as global warming.

Antony Seldon is headmaster of Wellington College, Berkshire

Further reading: 'The science of well-being', edited by Felicia Huppert, Nick Baylis and Barry Keverne. Oxford University Press, £39