Danny Dyer calling David Cameron a 't**t' was the most honest and coherent analysis of Brexit we’ve heard since the referendum

I’ve watched the clip about 20 times so far. Brexit was almost worth it for this moment

Shaparak Khorsandi
Friday 29 June 2018 18:12
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Danny Dyers goes on hilarious rant about Brexit and David Cameron

I was very bold once. I asked a comedian who was single and who I’d fancied for years, why he thought we’d never got together. Comedians aren’t really ones for small talk and it’s not completely out of the ordinary to natter about stuff like this when sober.

I had a hunch that this comic sort of liked me too, so my question was out of genuine curiosity. He thought for a moment and said: “You know, I’ve wanted to, but then I could never imagine myself chilling on a sofa with you watching TV. I always thought you’d get up and start folding clothes or something.”

Fair enough. He was right. I’m too much of a fidget for meaningful TV watching. I have to be doing something like making pom-poms or doing some minor carpentry and yes, folding clothes.

Being the only adult in my house too, I’d have to watch on my own. No fun. Gogglebox would not have been a hit if it had been about frazzled single parents watching TV after the kids were in bed.

Comics have late nights and with a little one who still gets up at 6am, sleep isn’t something that goes on in my life much. If it’s a choice between TV, cabinet making or sleep, sleep wins.

It’s not good that I don’t watch it. In my job, you sort of have to. I’ve sat in so many meetings with TV executives who reference shows and I nod wisely when really if it’s not on CBeebies or Nickelodeon it’s highly likely I’m blagging it in the hope my own ideas will be approved.

My one unmissable programme on TV used to be EastEnders. I watched that from the first episode and my faith never wavered, not even during bleak times when Coronation Street pranced by, effortlessly shaking its tail feather as its funnier and smarter northern cousin. But EastEnders was my team and it would, eventually, come through for me and restore my faith. After I had my baby girl, things had to change. Two kids on my own with a nighttime job – something had to go. Society frowns upon those who give up their infant child in favour of a soap opera, so I said goodbye to my beloved EastEnders.

That said, I still have enormous affection for all the characters and the only reason I watched Good Evening Britain last night was because Danny Dyer was on it. And it was a golden nugget of television I would not have missed for the world.

If you didn’t see it, you missed a moment when one man in a few seconds spoke for the whole nation and gave the most honest and coherent analysis of Brexit. Whether you’re Leave or Remain, Dyer made total, unrestrained sense, with passionate anger calling the former prime minister David Cameron a “twat” twice, without giving a monkeys that he was on TV. Sod niceties and decorum. We are past all that now with the shower of shit Brexit has turned out to be. Get me. I said “shit” in my column. I have been empowered by Dyer. Never in its history has the word “twat” been used so eloquently and with perfect passion. It was a hilarious moment of bloodletting for a nation baffled by a process that finally we can admit, no one truly understands. Mostly, I imagine, because there’s no sense to be made of it.

As Dyer let rip Jeremy Corbyn looked on, his face fixed with gentle, interested concern as though listening to a constituent complain about their bins in Swahili. Pamela Anderson looked taken aback. Susanna Reid curled her lip, indicating she and her colleagues might be in trouble for allowing a guest to call the former prime minister a “twat” and liken him to a pig. And Piers Morgan looked like he desperately wished to have the charm, wit and chutzpah to pull off such a magnificent rant himself (as do we all Piers, as do we all). And I sat on my sofa and wept with laughter and relief.

God I loved him for it. “It’s like this mad riddle that no one knows what it is.” When his rant was seemingly over, he folded his arms, seething and as the presenters began to take over, slumped back and another “twat” almost involuntarily spat out of him, from deep within his soul. I’ve watched it about 20 times so far. Brexit was almost worth it for this moment.

Who knows what will happen now? Our country will no doubt still stumble around in the dark for a good while longer. Staunch Leavers and Remainers will continue to hiss and spit at each other.

Never mind. We will forever have that glorious television moment when the landlord of the Queen Vic brought us together as one nation laughing at the absurdity of the mess they had put us in. Well done Dyer. Legend.

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