Don't be so surprised by this week's gay Muslim marriage – I married my Muslim husband in a same-sex ceremony in 2016

We wanted our day to be normal, like us, like our love for one another, like our families and friends

Jahed Choudhury and Sean Rogan married in Walsall this week, while Dennis and his husband married in 2016 (Caters)

Back in 2002, when gay online websites were pretty new, I was a 37-year-old gay male who also had a very strong Christian faith.

I had joined a popular gay dating website at the time where I was soon contacted by a very handsome 23-year-old Malaysian lad.

We chatted more and more online in the chat rooms, and if I’m honest I didn’t see it as anything more than online chatting. I never thought we’d actually meet because once he told me he was from Malaysia I assumed it would just never happen.

Despite the fact that we argued quite a bit at first, we continued to speak online, and eventually I started calling him on the phone, mostly landlines back in those days. I will never forget the first call I made because it lasted for 50 minutes, unbeknownst to me it was £1 per minute, so my first actual real contact with him cost £50!

I soon learned about calling cards and we spoke more and more. I found out he was an air steward for Malaysia Airlines.

After almost six months of speaking on the phone he said he was flying to London and asked if I would like to meet up.

That was a day and occasion that has stayed with me since.

I went to London to stay with an old school friend the night before, and we were supposed to meet at McDonalds Kensington High Street at 10am on Saturday 10th August 2002.

As was “normal” in our communications at that time when he landed that morning we ended up arguing over text again. I remember saying to my friend that I wasn’t going to go but he persuaded me to meet him.

Still to this day 15 years later I can still see that moment crystal clear in my head. The morning was warm, the sun was out and I sat on the railings outside McDonald’s, smelling the breakfasts and coffee.

Then just after 10am, he came walking around the corner. He had sliver grey trousers on, a blue checked shirt and a grey body warmer.

I was so angry that we’d argued earlier that I fully intended to have a coffee and leave, but once I’d met him my whole attitude changed.

Our communications improved after that, it turned out that the reason we argued so much was because of the way I spoke or the way he spoke, word inferences and tone.

He visited London twice a month with work and every time he’s been to the UK for the last 15 years I’ve driven to London to meet up with him and spend time with him.

I can honestly say I can even remember the exact moment I realised I loved him. I was sitting in my car at the traffic lights on Scott Arms Great Barr and it just hit me.

I have been to Malaysia many times in the past 15 years and my husband has been to England countless times.

My family adore him as I love and respect his family.

The distance has strangely never been an issue, and with massive technological advances our communications have improved and now I can see him in person on my hand phone.

The only time the distance is difficult is if one of us is ill or needs support. I felt so powerless when his father passed away three years ago from cancer, despite seeing him and trying to be supportive somehow at times like those it wasn’t enough.

Two years ago I became seriously ill. I have suffered with several medical issues over many years, and just before my fiftieth birthday I caught airborne pneumonia and almost died. This was another one of those times when the distance was noticeable, although I still saw Bibby (his nickname that everyone knows him by now) he seemed so far away from me, and that hurt more than the pneumonia.

I took a long slow road to recovery (almost seven months) but when I was poorly we were just casually chatting one day and it just sort of happened – we decided that if I lived and recovered we would get married, and that was that.

The following year (almost twelve months after I caught pneumonia) we contacted Birmingham registry office. We had no idea of the procedures and requirements, and it was even more complicated because Bibby doesn’t live in the UK, and had no intention of living here after we were married.

We finally got the go ahead to get married in September 2016, and because of Bibby’s time restraints and holiday allowances we had to book the wedding (wedding, not civil ceremony) as soon as possible. So we announced it to all our friends and families both sides of the world, and a date of 11th October 2016 was set.

We wanted our day to be normal, like us, like our love for one another, like our families and friends. We wanted a fun-filled happy day.

Our friends who run a gay pub in Birmingham did our buffet. My sister was my witness and my best friend, who was the first friend of mine Bibby had ever met, was his witness. I went to Malaysia shortly after where we had another “wedding reception” with all our friends in Malaysia.

After 15 years I can honestly say I love my Bibby more than I ever could have imagined. He is the most loving, kind, caring and considerate young man I have ever had the great fortune to meet. He still makes me laugh, he still listens to me, and I still ache and crave to hold him when he’s halfway across the globe.

I tell him every single day of my life that I love him, so that he never forgets. I thank God and I thank Allah for bringing this truly amazing man into my life. And the fact that he’s a Muslim? I never even gave that bit a second thought.