Letter: Lessons for life and marriage

Sir: I was somewhat concerned to read that the Reverend Martyn Gough ('Who wants to be a vicar's wife?', 23 December) saw marriage preparation as an opportunity to 'make people perfect'. Those of us who are married, however happily, are all too aware that none of us is perfect.

As a lay member of the church, I, too, have the privilege of assisting with marriage preparation, and would like to suggest to Mr Gough that it has much more to do with teaching good communication skills between couples. During a series of five evenings, we cover various topics such as expectations, fears and anxieties, conflict and money.

However, whatever the subject, the underlying lesson is teaching engaged couples to be open, tolerant and forgiving - lessons that would help all of us to live more harmoniously, not just within marriage.

Yours faithfully,

MARGARET WOODING JONES

Welling, Kent

24 December