A warning from the future about the state of the British sewage system

Jim McMahon, the shadow environment secretary, could have been attacking his future self in parliament today, writes John Rentoul

‘This is not straightforward,’ says Jim McMahon (Reuters)

It was the year 2038, and Jim McMahon, the deputy prime minister, was struggling to make himself heard over the shouts of Conservative and Liberal Democrat activists complaining about raw sewage being pumped into rivers and onto beaches.

“This is not straightforward,” he said, “but I take this issue extremely seriously and things need to change. That’s why we have developed this plan, and we are committed to delivering the progress that people want to see.”

To his horror, he realised he was using the same words Therese Coffey had used 14 years earlier, when his Green and Pleasant Land Department was still known as the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.