‘Geriatric mother’ Sienna Miller is busting the final pregnancy taboo in plain sight

Like Miller, I had my second child relatively late at 35, says Victoria Richards, and I felt like I had to hide away – it’s so refreshing to see an older mother sticking a middle finger up to ‘keeping mum’

Time was, mothers were expected to “hide away” as soon as they started “showing” their baby bumps – and not just in the 1950s.

The expectations placed on pregnant women to be “very demure, very mindful” (and very discreet) were still in place as recently 14 years ago, when I was shopping for maternity wear: all I found were giant, wafty caftans and “secret” breastfeeding aprons; vest-tops with hidden snap clasps to get your boobs out and huge tents you were expected to smother both yourself and your future baby beneath, so nobody could see you nursing.

Which is why it was so refreshing to see Sienna Miller sashaying onto the red carpet with pride at this week’s Fashion Awards – for not only did she and Ellie Goulding both get their bumps out, loud and proud, but Miller bared it all as an older mother. And we all know that that is the final pregnancy taboo, right there.

At 43, the actor – who is expecting her second child with her partner, Oli Green – is considered medically a “geriatric mother“, for the term kicks in for anyone pregnant over the age of 35 (and believe me, that’s exactly how you’re referred to in the hospital, which is just peachy for the self-confidence). Yet Miller – who is already mother to daughter Marlowe, 13, with her ex, Tom Sturridge, as well as to a 23-month-old daughter with Green, who is 28 – clearly doesn’t give a monkey’s about showing off her bump.

And nor should she – we’ve come a long way since the idea that a blossoming baby belly is somehow shameful or scandalous as per the legacy of the Victorian era, when women would hide their pregnancies with specially designed maternity corsets loosened with side lacing, layered clothing and empire waistlines. Being visibly pregnant was viewed as “indecent” – and pregnant women were hidden away in "confinement" until their babies were born.

Yet even now – despite stars like Demi Moore doing that cover for Vanity Fair in the nude while seven months pregnant in 1991; Rihanna rocking the Met Gala in a pinstripe skirt, tuxedo jacket and bump; Beyoncé’s achingly beautiful Instagram shot announcing that she was pregnant with twins; Khloe Kardashian, who dressed her human bauble in silver tassels for a Keeping Up With the Kardashians Christmas celebration; J-Lo, who glowed on the red carpet in flowing white Versace; or Serena Williams, who draped her belly in gorgeous green at the Met Gala in 2017 – there’s still something deliciously transgressive about it; something eyebrow-raising about being given public access to a woman’s body at such a private time.

Perhaps I’m projecting: speaking as someone who has been pregnant – twice – and knows how every inch of your body feels like a marvel. When you’re carrying a baby, you become hypersensitive to touch, sound and every single ache and twist and lurch. You know each stage of the baby’s development intimately: from tiny sunflower seed to giant watermelon.

You’re also encouraged implicitly and explicitly – as an older mother (like Miller, I had my second child relatively late at 35) – to hide away in the shadows for fear of seeming “past it”, for showing off the horror of not only stretch marks, linea nigra and cellulite, but wrinkles and greying hair, too. We all know that ageism is a problem – you only need to look at the way women are pressured to use Botox and fillers, plus the rise of the “lifted” face, to realise getting older “naturally” in Western society simply isn’t an option – but add age to pregnancy and you’re really fighting a patriarchal battle. And it’s one which, like it or not, women simply can’t win.

Which is precisely why Miller’s presence on the red carpet is so welcome. It may seem like a small, inconsequential thing, but look at what we’re fighting to begin with: we know that mothers spend less time in paid work and more time working part-time, meaning they miss out on earnings growth associated with more experience (and according to the Institute of Fiscal Studies, the pay gap between similarly educated mothers and fathers widens over a period of 20 years after a mother returns to work, leading to a discrepancy of 30 per cent less per hour).

We are all well aware of the gender pay gap, but refine that to mothers and it becomes even more stark and glaring: “young” mothers (those who give birth before the age of 33) are paid a whopping 15 per cent less than their childless peers, according to an analysis carried out for the Trades Union Congress (TUC) by the Institute for Public Policy Research in 2016. And one in nine mothers (11 per cent) report being dismissed, made redundant, or treated so poorly they felt they had to leave their job, according to the Equality and Human Rights Commission. That’s 54,000 competent and capable women wiped out of the British workforce, every single year.

And when it comes to older mothers, well – more than a third of women aged 50+ (36 per cent, or 4.1m) in England say they have experienced discrimination on the grounds of their age, sex or race, while a recent study in the US found the rhetoric around older motherhood to be “ageist, ableist and out of step with current childbirth trends”. That’ll be the “geriatric mothers”, again.

It’s no surprise that this kind of stigma makes older mums feel like they should hide away – we’re viewed as “unnatural” or “irresponsible”, guilty of having kids “too late” (when nobody bats an eyelid at Al Pacino having a baby at the age of 84). It’s a toxic conversational cocktail that strikes when you’re already feeling awkward and uncomfortable, when the last thing you want to do is be scrutinised and dissected.

That’s why Miller’s defiant appearance in the glare of the red carpet is so important. It’s not only vital representation for giving birth in your forties, it’s also sticking a middle finger up at the idea of “keeping mum”.