I’m 14 years old – please don’t take my TikTok away

It’s not the children who are wrong – the problem is that well-meaning adults are simply so out of touch they can’t see all the ways our online world improves our lives, says teenager George Deanus

When the use of social media for teenagers is discussed, there is often a big focus on the extreme stories. These must be heard, but I think it’s important to speak to those of us who are probably in the majority, who have a normal, well-managed relationship with social media.

My friends and I have a pretty healthy relationship with social media, and we stick to agreements we make with our parents – even if they are sometimes annoying! On Instagram, I pretty much only use it for positive things. It helps me with my English revision, and I read up on things I’m interested in, like recipes (I like to cook), TV and film reviews, and information on places I’m interested in going to. I do share photos, but I run these past my mum and dad, and none of my mates share controversial pictures or content.

We are the generation that uses social media to communicate and organise our social lives. Loads of plans get made via WhatsApp and Snapchat – my brother, who’s 17, wouldn’t have a social life without Snapchat! I think bonds would be broken and it would be harder to communicate if it was suddenly taken away, because these are our social norms now, and we’ve grown up on them.

I also disagree with the argument that social media can’t be effectively controlled. It hasn’t had a damaging impact on me, because I’ve always worked with my parents and stuck to their limits – they pay for it, so it’s fair enough that I stick to their rules and limits. We have a family app that limits use so I don’t endlessly scroll, which can be tempting, and it monitors content and flags stuff that might be dodgy.

My parents rarely look at my communication, but they would pick up on words, phrases or pictures that are flagged. Of course, this can be annoying, but I know this is to keep me safe, not just in terms of the content I get, but it also makes me think about my own behaviour on social media, which is important. Most of my friends have similar rules and limits, and because of this, we’re not just more careful, but we think about what we say or do online, which is something all people should do.

I also never have my phone in my room at night. This, I think, is a really good limit, because it stops the temptation to scroll at night, and you don’t lose sleep over what is being said or what’s happening in the middle of the night. I will keep this up through the GCSE years and beyond, because having not just limits, but proper time away from your phone is so much better for your overall wellbeing.

Teenagers get a bad reputation, but my phone and social media habits are shared by pretty much all my mates. When I’ve been added to groups I don’t like or see content that makes me uncomfortable, I just leave the chat.

I think because I’ve built up a system of trust with my parents and been encouraged to place limits on myself and my own behaviour, I’ve managed to completely avoid some of the more toxic or damaging situations that get talked about online. I have an open dialogue with my parents, who have always talked to us about potential dangers online, and so I’ve been able to avoid anything upsetting.

Any teenager who can endlessly scroll all day and night without limits is going to be put into a situation where trouble or harm is more likely (Getty/iStock)

I think any teenager who can endlessly scroll all day and night without limits, or can be contacted by anyone, is going to be put into a situation where trouble or harm is more likely. But my friends and I are examples of very normal teenagers who use social media but avoid the bad stuff and make good choices, both by ourselves and with our parents.

I don’t think it’s necessary to ban social media for under-16s, and I think it’s important that the experiences of millions of teenagers who use social media pretty healthily, with limits, are listened to.

With limits on scrolling, open conversations with your parents, not having your phone in your room at night, and learning to avoid toxic people or content, social media can be a useful tool for socialising and communicating. It doesn’t have to cause harm.