Versailles is TV at its most ridiculous, but it's my guilty pleasure

I am a powerless zombie over this stupendously silly drama series with the wettest leading man on the box

The stars of the steamy TV series 'Versailles’: Elisa Lasowski (left), George Blagden, Anna Brewster and Noémie Schmidt (Canal Plus)

Why did I watch the second episode of Versailles? I’m an intelligent human being with enough willpower to exercise regularly and shun junk food. Even so, I found myself morphing into a powerless zombie, tuning into episode two of this stupendously silly drama series, whose leading man is surely one of the wettest men on the box.

George Blagden plays the French Sun King Louis XIV as a sulky twenty-something, his feeble little bottom lip permanently quivering, his mega-wig weighing him down more than all the worries about a Queen who has just given birth to a dark-skinned baby, a gaggle of mutinous courtiers who are withholding state documents, and a cross dressing brother who spends his time snogging a John Galliano lookalike.

If you know anything about history, best to avoid Versailles. It’s the equivalent of a Laduree macaron: gorgeously presented in a dazzling array of pastel colours, stupendously light, utterly forgotten moments after the credits roll.

The series is a co-production between the UK, France and Canada, and has been sold all over the world, airing in the USA in October. Predictably, the British press reckon there’s twice as much sex in Versailles as Game of Thrones, and managed to get the show’s historical researcher to admit the writers wanted “sex or violence every 15 minutes”.

Hoorah! At 9pm in the evening, froth is what I want, not a dreary documentary about the plight of barn owls or surviving cancer.

My favourite film is Milos Forman’s Amadeus: great music, loads of bonking, fabulous costumes and the greatest composer of all time – Mozart – reduced to a petulant prick, brilliantly played by Tom Hulce.

Of course Versailles is not in the same league. It has the burden of Blagden at its core, and holes in the plot the size of the giant crater being dug to accommodate the King’s meglaomaniac plans for acres of lakes and thousands of fountains – all in the hands of just one gardener, a former soldier with little experience.

Now, the King has turned to a feminist trainee doctor to sort out his health issues; you couldn’t make it up.

Screenwriters David Wolstencroft and Simon Mirren both worked on Spooks, and seem disgusted by our obsession with the sexual content. “That’s not how the French or the Canadians consumed it,” they sniffily retorted. Well why else would we devote a precious hour of our time?

I can learn about war strategy elsewhere: the excellent shows about the Spanish Armada or the Battle of Jutland. Versailles is TOWIE set in a court, and it’s my guilty pleasure.

By the way, series two has been commissioned.