Sport Gary Ballance is confident he can deal with Mitchell Johnson ahead of his return to the Australia squad for the second One-Day International with England

Ballance is looking to fight fire with fire after hitting half-centuries in his last two innings

Iron, Traverse Theatre, Edinburgh

Murder meets mother-love in a steely domestic drama

The late showman

Christopher Hawtree has lots of fun beyond the grave; The Great Mortdecai Moustache Mystery by Kyril Bonfiglioli Black Spring Press, pounds 14.99, 174pp

Man of substance: Matthew Paris

For writer, broadcaster and wit-about-town Matthew Parris, absence of style is a positive virtue. He has no time for his appearance - aside, perhaps, from a sneaking concern that he may end up one day looking like an old tortoise

Celebrations for a right Charlie

Author Kyril Bonfiglioli is dead, but his portly and dissolute alter-ego Charlie Mortdecai is making a comeback.

Theatre: Touch of Chekhov in Calcutta

LAST DANCE AT DUM DUM NEW AMBASSADORS LONDON

Is it time to get a Gaydar?

I CAN'T get my mind round the job. It's difficult enough settling to one's work after a holiday in the normal course of things - that post- break anticlimax is one of the greatest robber of man-hours on the planet - but after two weeks hanging around with a gay couple on one of Europe's premier resort islands, all I can do is swivel my Gaydar.

NEWS IN BRIEF

DANDO MURDER LINK RAPIsT hunted

'Blue Peter' has been a nursery for many thrusting talents

THE AGREEABLE WORLD OF WALLACE ARNOLD

No longer in the shadow of the King of Rock'n'Roll

`If you look quite like Elvis, it merely underlines the fact that you aren't him'

Food for thought: Why does a skin form over hot milk?

SOMETIMES HOT milk can seem to be the only remedy for a sleepless night. But this often means having to remove an unpleasant skin from the top of your bed-time drink with a teaspoon (or enduring a novelty white moustache). This skin formation is due to the loss of solids that the milk undergoes as it is warmed up.

Secretarial: The Temp What the chauffeur saw

PAUL THE chauffeur and I have struck up a bit of a friendship, mostly because we spend a lot of time sitting around with mugs of coffee in the kitchen waiting for Oscar, who always calls for the car an hour before he really needs it. I wasn't sure about Paul at first - thought he was pretty dour - but that's mostly because I've never had a friend with a ginger moustache before, and I gather now that a ginger moustache is almost compulsory if you want to join The Regiment, which I think is the phrase that a particular type of soldier uses to avoid saying "SAS". Paul's over 40 now; he got out of The Regiment nearly a decade ago and set himself up as a chauffeur-bodyguard and security adviser.

Your Holiday Disaster: Elizabeth Smith tried to avoid the gangsters in her Moscow hotel

DON'T GET me wrong, Russia is a country not to be missed - full of fabulous treasures, fascinating culture and interesting people. But the service can be appalling, with limited hot showers and surly waitresses, food can be stodgy and fresh vegetables scarce. And, more perturbing than these minor difficulties, the country has an uncomfortably dark undertone.

Case of the fat food critic and his handsome impostor

A MOST curious case is going on in the High Court at the moment, in which a famous restaurant critic is suing a man who, he claims, is masquerading as him. The reason for this is that... well, perhaps an extract from yesterday's proceedings would be enlightening:

The agreeable world of Wallace Arnold: How the General got tetchy at the tricky third hole

GOLF! I have spent many a happy hour parading up and down fairways in my snazzy plus-fours, my multi-coloured V-neck and my two-tone shoes with the saucy little flaps. Sometimes, I even bring my clubs and tees along and enjoy a bit of a knock-about while I'm at it. It's a glorious game, perfect for unwinding. With one well-timed swing, you can send that little ball - what? - ten, fifteen, sometimes even twenty yards, right into that little clump of trees to the right. With a smile and a wink, bidding your opponent good luck as he shimmies into the distance, you saunter genially over to the little clump and you take aim and swing and you take aim and swing and you take aim and swing and then you hammer the ground with your club and then you hammer it again and again until you're blue in the face and the divots are flying and the trees are cracking from the blows and your club breaks and there are tears pouring from your eyes and you're saying mummy mummy mummy why did I have to grow up I hate it I hate it I hate it and nineteen shots later you've only just reached the green and your opponent is smiling in that ghastly smug way of his saying: "Came a bit of a cropper, did we, ha ha!" and you want to wrap your number 9 around his neck dig a six-foot hole in the bunker and leave his corpse for the groundsman to disinter five months later in a state of decomposition.
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

A descent into madness in America's heartlands

David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home
Lauded therapist Harley Mille still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Lauded therapist still in limbo as battle to stay in Britain drags on

Australian Harley Miller is as frustrated by court delays as she is with the idiosyncrasies of immigration law
Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world. But could his predictions of war do the same?

Lewis Fry Richardson's weather forecasts changed the world...

But could his predictions of war do the same?
Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs: 'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

'I want to have contact with the audience, not iPhones'

Kate Bush asks fans not to take photos at her London gigs
Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities, but why?

Young at hort

Under-35s have rated gardening in their top five favourite leisure activities. But why are so many people are swapping sweaty clubs for leafy shrubs?
Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award: 'making a quip as funny as possible is an art'

Beyond a joke

Tim Vine, winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, has nigh-on 200 in his act. So how are they conceived?
The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

The late Peter O'Toole shines in 'Katherine of Alexandria' despite illness

Sadly though, the Lawrence of Arabia star is not around to lend his own critique
Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire: The joy of camping in a wetland nature reserve and sleeping under the stars

A wild night out

Wicken Fen in Cambridgeshire offers a rare chance to camp in a wetland nature reserve
Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition: It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans

Comic Sans for Cancer exhibition

It’s the font that’s openly ridiculed for its jaunty style, but figures of fun have their fans
Besiktas vs Arsenal: Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie

Besiktas vs Arsenal

Five things we learnt from the Champions League first-leg tie
Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

Rory McIlroy a smash hit on the US talk show circuit

As the Northern Irishman prepares for the Barclays, he finds time to appear on TV in the States, where he’s now such a global superstar that he needs no introduction
Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to Formula One

Boy racer Max Verstappen stays relaxed over step up to F1

The 16-year-old will become the sport’s youngest-ever driver when he makes his debut for Toro Rosso next season
Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

Fear brings the enemies of Isis together at last

But belated attempts to unite will be to no avail if the Sunni caliphate remains strong in Syria, says Patrick Cockburn
Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I would end up killing myself in jail'

Charlie Gilmour: 'I wondered if I'd end up killing myself in jail'

Following last week's report on prison suicides, the former inmate asks how much progress we have made in the 50 years since the abolition of capital punishment