Bride faces backlash after criticising her friend for wearing the same dress to different weddings

‘Wear what you want,’ one respondent says

Amber Raiken
New York
Friday 01 April 2022 18:47
Comments

A bride has been criticised after mocking her friend for wearing the same dress to all of her friends’ weddings.

In recent post shared to the Subreddit, “Am I The A**hole?,” a Reddit user, who has since deleted their account, explained how she’s been living in Canada with her husband, where she mainly has clothes for “cold weather only.” She said that when she visits the United States, which is where she’s from, she tends to “rotate” between outfits.

“I only have a small amount of dresses, skirts, [and] warm weather attire,” she wrote. “Most of my friends are in the states (California) and when I’m there I rotate 3 dresses (a black one, blue one, and one for the holidays) and a couple of shorts. So I’ve worn the same blue dress for all my friends’ weddings.”

However, the woman said that when she was invited to a wedding, the bride specifically told her not to wear her usual blue dress. The Reddit poster noted that prior to her friend’s comment, she’s been “teased” multiple times for wearing the “same thing,” as she has a smaller “wardrobe” than her friends in California.

“I got an invite to my friend’s wedding with the message, ‘don’t you dare wear that same blue dress,’” the post reads. “I’ve been teased by my friends about wearing the same thing. I also think the culture in California is to have a large wardrobe since I’ve never seen my friends wear the same thing twice (not that I’m that observant).”

“While I only have a small wardrobe and most of my clothes are for function and work (I’m a civil engineer) rather than parties, since I only go out a few times a year and it’s too cold for dresses normally,” she added.

The woman asked if she was the a**hole for “wearing the same dress to all of her friends’ weddings.” She also questioned if she should buy a new dress for [her] friend’s wedding,” since her friend said that she couldn’t wear her blue one, which is “not in bad shape.”

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As of 1 April, the Reddit post has over 10,900 upvotes, with many readers saying that the woman should be able to wear her blue dress to the wedding.

“Wear what you want,” one wrote. “Maybe try to change it up with a colourful scarf or something, if you want, but you’re not required to, and you certainly don’t have to get a new dress.”

“I am really getting tired of people trying to control what guests wear to a wedding,” another said. “Setting a dress code or theme is fine, [in my opinion], but ‘every girl must wear pink, and every boy must wear blue,’ or ‘you must buy new clothes for the whole family’ gets old fast. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what I wore to the last wedding I attended, and if it was new or not.”

Some Redditors noted how there could be a double standard, as men sometimes wear the same outfit to different weddings.

“Can we also point out that if [the original poster] were a guy, nobody would be questioning them for wearing the same suit to every wedding?” one reader asked. “Never wearing the same thing twice to formal events is a really gendered issue.”

However, a few other commenters felt like the bride wasn’t trying to be rude and gave a few recommendations to the Reddit poster about how to handle the situation.

“OP should send a ‘test the water’ response,” a comment reads. “Something like ‘But that’s my signature move. At this point I think no one will recognise me in another dress.’ If her friend responds with some lighthearted text - it’s just friendly banter. If she doubles down and makes it clear she’s being serious - she’s an [a**hole].”

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