Love at last sight: The illegitimate, illicit, narcissistic and irrational crime of ghosting

Ghosting, when a person stops replying to another and simply disappears, isn’t just social – employers are doing it too, writes Andy Martin

Friday 26 November 2021 21:30
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<p>The term is used to describe someone abruptly cutting off contact without giving that person any warning</p>

The term is used to describe someone abruptly cutting off contact without giving that person any warning

Tara* happened to be coming out of a particularly sticky divorce at the time. Her ex had not only run off with another woman but robbed her blind to boot. So you could say she was already in a vulnerable state. In fact, it’s a wonder she hadn’t given up on relationships altogether. But she was giving a conference talk in Bristol and was introduced to Will, “a guy who seemed charming”. Sometimes, let’s face it, the charmers are the worst.

Anyway, Tara was invited to a group pub meal and Will happened to be sitting opposite her. At the end of the evening, he gave her his card and told her if she was ever in Bristol again perhaps they could meet for a drink? Why not? she thought. What harm could it do? In due course they met again, went for coffee, got on well, turned out to share a lot of the same interests, liked a lot of the same books. So far so good. Maybe the old relationship horizon was not so bleak after all.

During Tara’s next phone conversation with Will, she mentioned going away for a month, and he said he’d like to come and take her out for dinner before she left. He asked her to find a local restaurant, but when she got back to him with a recommendation, he texted her back to say that he’d looked it up and it was just a restaurant, whereas he’d been hoping for somewhere that also had rooms.

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