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A woman secretly recorded her husband at home. Now she’s divorcing him

‘These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here,’ she wrote on TikTok

Amber Raiken
New York
Monday 01 May 2023 09:50 BST
Related: Toddler Helps Clean the Windows

A mother has accused her husband, who she’s separating from, of “inattentive parenting,” after he failed to clean the house while she was at work.

Lynalice, who goes by the username @5kids5catssomedogstoo, shared a video to TikTok in August of her home as she was cleaning it. The time-lapse began with shots of a bedroom, dining room, and living room, all of which had clothes, bags, and miscellaneous toys on the floor.

Throughout the text over the video, she went on to explain that she had been working 10 hours a day, for the last six days, and only had one day off because she was sick. She proceeded to show the pile of dishes in her kitchen sink and on the counter, as she wrote: “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans, but as you can see.”

The mother also filmed herself making the bed and cleaning the floor of a bedroom. “These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here,” she continued. “Especially the kitchen counters.”

As her children stepped in to help pick things off the floor, Lynalice explained how her soon-to-be-ex didn’t usually pitch in when it came to cleaning the house.

“While summer session was happening, my soon-to-be-ex-husband claimed he couldn’t watch the kids while he was focusing on homework,” she wrote. “Now that school is out for break, he doesn’t have that excuse anymore.”

The video proceeded with Lynalice cleaning the dining room. She criticised her ex-partner for not looking after the children when he was home.

“Every single day after I’ve gotten home from work, I’ve been met with one disaster or another caused by inattentive parenting,” she wrote. “Shampoo on the carpets in the girls’ room. Nail polish all over Nugget covers, hair and carpet.”

Lynalice went on to clean the living room, as she explained some of the other problems that occured at home while she was at work. “Scissors used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and TWO nugget covers,” she added. “Medications that have been gotten into and destroyed ... My ex lost his temper and smashed my dogs’ food bin.”

While discussing her husband, she claimed that he was prioritising his work on his cars, instead of his family. “ALL of his attention has been focused on the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

As Lynalice and her children cleaned the kitchen, she claimed that her husband also made a mess in the house, due to his interest in cars.

“His obsession has hit an all time high, and he’s even brought car parts into the dining room and left oil everywhere,” she wrote. “This was because he claimed he had to be able to watch the kids and just not doing the task wasn’t an option.”

She candidly expressed her hope to leave her space, which she owns with her soon-to-be ex, once she can afford to do so.

“I wish so much that the housing economy wasn’t what it was here and I could afford to move out,” she wrote “My soul aches without a place to feel safe and happy.”

As of 24 April, the video has more than 7m views, with TikTok users in the comments showing their support for Lynalice.

“All I’m gonna say is I’m proud of you Mama,” one wrote. “I’m going through the same thing and it’s hard for me to even clean … hugs.”

“Being a single parent while married is the worst,” another added. “I’m glad you’re changing that for yourself and the kids.”

A third said: “Kids are messy for sure. I like how you acknowledged that it was ‘inattentive parenting’ and not ‘destructive kids; or the like. You’re a great mum.”

Other people shared their candid reactions to Lynalice’s co-parent, after seeing the messy house.

“The rage that would consume me,” one reacted in the comments.

“There is nothing more soul draining than a “partner” whom is actually an extra child,” another added.

In a video posted to TikTok earlier this month, Lynalice revealed that she moved into a new home, as she left her previous one two months ago.

The Independent has contacted Lynalice for comment.

Over the years, research has found that women are doing more housework than men. According to a study published by the British Medical Journal in August 2021, researchers found that women all around the world take on three times more care and domestic work than men, “with women in low and middle income countries devoting more time to unpaid work than women in high income countries”.

While the time spent on domestic work increased for both men and women during the pandemic, “the increase and intensity of this work has been far greater for women”.

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