Parents face backlash after sharing a list of strict rules for visiting their baby

‘We won’t explain why,’ a mom writes on Reddit.

Amber Raiken
Saturday 05 February 2022 12:06
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A couple has sparked a debate after they revealed some of the “rules” they’ve put in place for guests that come to see their newborn baby.

In a post shared on January 27 in the Reddit Thread, “Am I The A**hole,” a 33-year-old mom, @u/No_Letter_1344, who just had her son this past Christmas Day, revealed a list of rules that she and her husband have for guests in their home.

She noted that they made the list back in October and sent it out to everyone they knew.

First and foremost, guests must be “up to date on all vaccines” and if they feel sick at all, they shouldn’t come to visit.

The mother also explained that her friends have to let her know at least a week in advance when they want to come for a visit.

“No smokers,” the list reads. “No phone calls or visits between 7:30pm-10pm.”

Friends can only stay for “an hour” and cannot pick up this couple’s baby “without consent”. They also can’t offer the parents any advice or come into the house wearing “perfume/deodorant”.

“No is no.” the post continues. “We won’t explain why. No pictures to be taken or posted on social media.”

The mother also doesn’t want visitors coming empty-handed.

“If you visit the first time you will be expected to give mom (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list,” she wrote.

“Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of food or groceries to bring with you AND a chore for a list of your choosing.”

Every person is only allowed to come a maximum of two times per week.

After explaining this list, the mother noted that her 20-year-old sister, who was in law school, wanted to visit the baby but couldn’t afford to bring a gift.

The law student offered to do extra chores instead, but her sister and brother-in-law still said she couldn’t come.

​​ “Me and my husband talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment,” the mother explained.

The parents then received multiple texts from other family members after this incident, many of which were “belittling [them] for using [their] child as a cash grab”. In response, the husband said that it was simply their rules. He told his parents that they were on a “time out and blocked them”.

The Reddit post has over 11,800 upvotes, so far, with many users in the comments claiming that the parents were the a**hole in this situation.

“Your rules went from 0 to 60,” one wrote. “Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one.”

Other people sympathised with the mother’s sister in this sister, one of which said: “She was willing to do extra labor she shouldn’t have … and was denied because she didn’t give their entitled Mommy a f***ing gift card … Yikes.”

“The fact that [the sister] was willing to submit to those rules if only she could afford it, like she was willing to ignore the insanity of those rules and offer to clean their entire house because she wanted to see the baby so badly,” another wrote.

“The heartlessness of [the Reddit poster] and husband to say no to that because that means other people wouldn’t spend $80 on a visit. Gosh.”

Many people in the comments emphasised how strange it seems that these parents have these rules set in place at all.

“What kind of greedy people are you guys?” one comment reads. “I thought you were going to say that you weren’t making exceptions on visits before the baby is healthy enough or something. You’re charging people to see your baby? That’s so weird.”

The Independent has contacted @u/No_Letter_1344 for a comment.

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