Man questions whether he was wrong to ‘ruin’ proposal taking place during his girlfriend’s party

He says he was mad because his girlfriend’s brother ‘hijacked’ the event she’d worked hard planning

A man has questioned whether he was wrong to interrupt his future brother-in-law’s proposal because he felt it was “disrespectful” of him to do it during his girlfriend’s party.

The man posed the question to the Reddit subreddit AITA [Am I the a**hole], where he revealed that his girlfriend recently hosted a housewarming party after purchasing a house.

“She invited a ton of people over for a housewarming. She put so much work into everything. The house looked amazing, and the food was delicious,” he wrote.

However, according to the Reddit user, who goes by the username u/itsnotmypartyoryours, right after the guests had eaten dinner, his girlfriend’s brother decided to take the opportunity to propose to his girlfriend.

In the post, the man then recalled how he’d decided to interrupt the proposal before his girlfriend’s brother could get a response. “Before she could answer, I told him to sit down and quit being so rude and disrespectful to his sister,” he wrote, adding: “He was mad, but his girlfriend looked so embarrassed. They ended up leaving.”

In addition to upsetting his girlfriend’s brother and his partner, the man said his behaviour also impacted the other party guests, as he noted that the party was “very awkward after that” and “a lot of people left early”.

The Reddit user said his girlfriend’s mother was also “furious” with him over his decision to interrupt her son’s proposal, as “she wanted her son to stop living in sin and I ruined it,” and his girlfriend’s brother had texted him to call him a “pr***”.

As for how his girlfriend felt, the man said: “My girlfriend said I was sweet but didn’t need to do that.”

The man concluded the post questioning whether he was the “a**hole for telling them to have some class”.

AITA for ruining a proposal?
by u/ItsNotMyPartyOrYours in AmItheAsshole

As of 17 March, the post has been upvoted more than 20,000 times, with users divided in the comments.

According to one person, the OP [original poster] was not in the wrong, as they claimed it “is just plain rude to start hijacking events for your proposal”.

“NTA [Not the a**hole]. It is just plain rude to start hijacking events for your proposal. Oh my sister bought a new house? Perfect situation to make sure it revolves all around my proposal. Your brother-in-law sounds like a cheapskate who thought he could get away with it. Is he normally so entitled?” they wrote.

Someone else claimed the proposal was a “red flag,” and that the Reddit user “got what he deserved”.

“Red flag right there. Inconsiderate, entitled and too lazy to organise something by himself,” they wrote. “If I were his girlfriend, I would be offended that my boyfriend doesn’t feel like I deserve something arranged just for me. Also, it’s very rude to take advantage of someone else’s hard work like that. He got what he deserved. NTA.”

Another person agreed, writing: “NTA. He tried hijacking someone else’s party, eventually people need to learn that you ask before making someone else’s event all about you.”

Others jokingly encouraged the man to teach his sister’s brother a lesson by proposing at his wedding.

“Propose at their wedding or next family event and see how fast they change their tune about it being okay. NTA,” someone else wrote.

While the majority of comments came from users siding with the man, others suggested that he may be slightly in the wrong because it was “not his place” to reprimand his sister’s brother.

“She’s right you didn’t need to do that nor was it your place to do so,” one person claimed, while another said: “If you’re going to propose or make some kind of big announcement at someone else’s party, you need to check with the host(s) beforehand. Don’t hijack someone else’s event.

“That said, I’d say maybe next time pull them aside after the announcement instead of calling them out publicly. As you said yourself, it ruined the party.”

According to wedding resource website Zola, proposal etiquette warns against stealing spotlight, which means proposals typically shouldn’t take place at weddings or other parties that are not being hosted by the couple getting engaged.

“Popping the question at a baby shower, anniversary party, or someone else’s wedding is taboo. Unless you’re ultra-close with the guest of honour and it’s their idea, just don’t,” the website writes. “Wait until you can have the limelight solo, and grant others the opportunity to bask in theirs.”