We’re asking the wrong questions about Ariana Grande

The only thing that Grande is guilty of is giving us a press tour juicier than ‘spitgate’

(AFP via Getty Images)

When you cast two self-proclaimed “theatre kids” in the movie adaptation of Wicked that films far, far away from home, it’s likely there will be drama.

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater - known for playing the titular sponge in The Spongebob Musical on Broadway - are Hollywood’s latest unlikely pairing. News of the pop princess’ new romance came as a surprise to many fans last month, considering she announced her separation from husband Dalton Gomez the same week. Meanwhile, for those who were familiar with the Vassar drama school-educated actor, by all accounts he was married to his high school sweetheart, with whom he shares a baby boy.

From her own start on Broadway in the angsty teen musical,13, to playing aloof fan-favourite Cat Valentine on the Nickelodeon series Victorious, Arianators (Grande’s version of Swifties) have grown up with Grande over the years. And like any fan base, that also includes investing as much in her personal relationships as they do her music.

So it was hardly surprising that both fans and news outlets were quick to speculate about Grande’s relationship with Slater - specifically, rumors that their on-set romance began while they were both still married. But sources quickly put out the fire, affirming that Grande and Slater were both separated from their spouses before they began dating.

As pop culture fiends like myself often do, they continued to pour over both Slater and Grande’s social media accounts, holding up a magnifying glass to every post, comment and like.

For someone who unabashedly sings the lyrics, “break up with your girlfriend ‘cause I’m bored,” there’s no need for Grande to be discreet. After all, it seems that Grande is proudly self-aware of the reputation her dating history holds, with lyrics like: “I know they say I move on too fast,” and “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” Her on-screen romance has put a renewed spotlight on her relationship history and rumours around it. But Grande isn’t to blame for her approach to dating…and called off engagements…and two-year marriages. She is a Cancer woman from Florida, after all.

Maintaining a relationship at this level of fame has been no easy feat for Grande. From her teeny bopper days with YouTuber Jai Brooks, to The Wanted singer Nathan Sykes, to her short-lived engagement to Pete Davidson, Grande’s romantic life has always been in the spotlight. But when her ex-boyfriend and rapper Mac Miller died from an accidental overdose in 2018, the scrutiny intensified. Miller’s death, at the age of 26, immediately prompted fans to unfairly blame Grande for his apparent overdose - a truly misogynistic leap.

She was then forced to respond: “I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be,” she said at the time. “I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course), but shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his s*** together is a very major problem. Let’s please stop doing that.”

When she was just 24 years old, Grande already had a lifetime’s experience with love and loss. How is it, then, that it won’t affect her future relationships?

Amidst her new romance with Slater, and his subsequent divorce from his wife, fans have now labelled Grande as a “homewrecker”. As is so often the case, the spotlight is pointed in this direction, rather than the men in relationships. It’s not surprising that many people have focused their blame on Grande, because the “other woman” is almost always more harshly judged than the man in the relationship. While Lilly Jay may be “devastated her family’s been torn apart”, it was her soon-to-be ex-husband who decided to walk away from their marriage. If sources are to be believed, Grande had been separated from her husband since January, making her - by all accounts - single and ready to mingle.

The only thing that Ariana Grande is guilty of is potentially giving us a Wicked press tour that’s way juicier than Don’t Worry Darling’s infamous “spitgate” of 2022. I will be honest and say that I can’t wait to see how the drama unfolds, but for someone as “popular” as Grande, this soon-to-be Glinda knows that “no good deed goes unpunished” when it comes to celebrity relationships.