Pessimism hasn’t served us in dating – it’s time we followed Taylor Swift’s lead

As over-the-top as romantic gestures like Travis Kelce’s are, the modern dating landscape is such a morass that perhaps we could all do with looking at life with more optimism, writes Olivia Petter

Is there anything more nauseating than an ostentatious romantic gesture? You know, the kind where someone proposes by hiding a diamond ring in a chocolate soufflé while a string quartet arrives out of nowhere, or sends 100 red roses to your office so you can barely get to your desk amid the endless floral arrangements, not to mention mockery from your colleagues.

While some of these acts might have us wincing or reaching for the sick bag, for others, it’s a literal dream come true. At least, that was the case for Taylor Swift, who has revealed the details behind her unlikely, almost cinematic, meet-cute with her boyfriend, American footballer Travis Kelce. Speaking on Kelce’s podcast, New Heights, which Kelce hosts with his brother, Jason, Swift, after announcing her upcoming new album, The Life of a Showgirl, told listeners: “This podcast got me a boyfriend”.

The 35-year-old musician went on to explain how Kelce had famously spoken on their podcast about attending one of Swift’s concerts and feeling disappointed that he hadn’t met her. “If I had never gone to that show and been mesmerised and just been captivated, and then left with such a desire to want to meet you, I would have never gone on here and told everybody how butt hurt I was,” Kelce recalled.

The plan had been for him to give Swift a friendship bracelet with his phone number on it. “He thought because he knows the elevator lady, that he could just talk to her about getting down to my dressing room,” Swift said of Kelce’s unsuccessful attempt to meet her. For whatever reason, though, his public declaration worked, and the two met soon after.

‘There are far too many stories of regret, heartbreak, and shattered expectations. But pessimism serves none of us. So perhaps it’s time to challenge our inner cynic and look at stories like Swift’s with a more hopeful, inspired gaze’ (New Heights)

“This felt like I was in an Eighties John Hughes movie, and he was just standing outside my window with a boombox, being like, ‘I want to date you!’” Swift said, adding: “This is sort of what I’ve been writing songs about; what I’ve wanted to happen to me since I was a teenager.” Kelce replied: “And I was sitting there at the Eras Tour listening to every single one of those songs, like, ‘I know what she wants me to do’.”

It’s all too easy to write this off as saccharine celebrity nonsense. After all, outside of a Hughes film, these kinds of stories could only happen to two incredibly attractive, wealthy and famous people. They already exist in another realm, so of course, their romantic relationships will be just as otherworldly. Why wouldn’t we mere mortals be cynical of that amid all of the ghosting, catfishing, and general disappointment that make up the modern dating landscape?

Consider Dua Lipa and Callum Turner, another celebrity couple whose love for one another couldn’t be more apparent, both on social media (take a look at Lipa’s feed) and in paparazzi photos (check out those snaps of the pair canoodling in front of the Eiffel Tower). Or Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, who recently went viral for being captured dancing together at a Backstreet Boys concert. Part of me wants to squirm and recoil at all this, to dismiss it all as empty showmanship designed to make us resentful about our objectively inferior lives. But another part of me is a little less jaded and thinks that these over-the-top, incredibly public displays of romance are exactly what we need to see more of right now.

Dating has never had worse PR – just ask anyone single. There are far too many stories of regret, heartbreak, and shattered expectations. But pessimism serves none of us. So perhaps it’s time to challenge our inner cynic and look at stories like Swift’s with a more hopeful, inspired gaze. We might live in different worlds, but love can happen to all of us. Who’s to say it can’t do so with a little pomp and pageantry?