Gisele Bündchen says she contemplated suicide at the height of her modelling career

'I couldn’t see a way out'

(AFP/Getty Images)

Supermodel Gisele Bündchen has revealed that she experienced suicidal thoughts at the height of her career.

As one of the most sought-after models in the world, with two adorable children and a superstar quarterback husband, it can be easy to assume that Bündchen has a picture-perfect life.

But, as she reveals in her new memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, her success hasn’t always sheltered her from the harsh realities of life.

In an interview with People, Bündchen shared that although “things can be looking perfect on the outside, you have no idea what’s really going on.”

Recalling her rise to stardom in the late ‘90s as one of the most in-demand supermodels, the 38-year-old reveals some of the difficult issues she faced, including claustrophobia, panic attacks and suicidal ideation.

“It felt like everything in my life was going to kill me,” Bündchen reveals in an excerpt from her book published by Page Six.

“First it was the airplanes, then elevators. Then it was tunnels and hotels and modelling studios and cars. Now it was my own apartment," she said.

“Everything had become a cage, and I was the animal trapped inside, panting for air. I couldn’t see a way out, and I couldn’t stand another day of feeling this way.”

As the panic attacks intensified, Bündchen explains that she started to contemplate thoughts of death and dying.

“The idea swept over me: Maybe it will be easier if I just jump. It will be all over. I can get out of this,” she writes.

“When I think back on that moment, and that 23-year-old girl, I want to cry. I want to tell her that everything will be all right, that she hasn’t even begun to live her life. But in that moment, the only answer seemed to be to jump.”

In her memoir, the supermodel reveals that she has since recovered, something she credits to consulting with doctors and changing several aspects of her life including quitting cigarettes and cutting back on alcohol and caffeine.

On Instagram, Bündchen described the process of writing her memoir as “transformative and intense” and, while she admits that uncovering stories about the darker parts of her life made her feel “vulnerable and emotional”, stressing the importance of doing so has never felt more timely.

Her story comes at a time when the conversation surrounding anxiety, depression and suicide, particularly in the world of celebrity, is becoming more and more crucial to dismantling its taboo.

Earlier this year, the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain stunned and saddened the world, while actor Ryan Reynolds, singer Demi Lovato, model Cara Delevingne and Chrissy Teigen have all openly discussed their own personal struggles with mental health.

For confidential support with mental health or suicidal feelings, call Samaritans on 116 123.