Ryan Reynolds explains the skill that helped him succeed: ‘It changed every relationship in my life’

‘You can’t address problems with other people unless you understand them’

Ryan Reynolds has revealed the biggest skill that has helped him succeed throughout his career and how it “literally changes” all of the “relationships in [his] life”.

The 45-year-old actor acknowledged how working with so many different people has helped shape his career, while speaking at this year’s Indeed FutureWorks conference on Thursday.

During the event, he shared his key to success, revealing that when he feels a need to “win” against someone, he completely “disengages” from that feeling, in order to learn something from that person instead.

“We live in a world that’s increasingly gamified, and I think we have an instinct to win, crush and kill,” the Deadpool star said, per CNBC. “But if you can disengage or disarm that instinct for a second and replace it with seeking to learn about somebody instead, that, as a leadership quality, for me, has quite literally changed every aspect of my life.”

He went on to emphasise that when he isn’t focused on trying to “beat somebody” that he does not agree with, it helps him become a better listener.

Reynolds shared the benefits of addressing someone else’s feelings, explaining: “They’re an ally, even if it doesn’t happen in the moment.”

“You can’t address problems with other people unless you understand them,” he added.

The Free Guy star also said that he learned this technique for resolving conflict at a workshop he took in his 20s, during a point where his life needed a change.

“I was a little bit lost, I was a little bit angry,” he recalled. “I wanted to get better … and I didn’t expect it to, but it really changed my life.”

Reynolds went on to note how his communication skills has helped him throughout his professional and personal relationships, as the actor has been married to Blake Lively for over 10 years. The couple share three daughters, James, seven; Inez, six; and Betty, three. The Gossip Girl star is currently pregnant with their fourth child.

“It’s quite literally changed every relationship in my life, and it’s changed the trajectory of my career and businesses,” he said at the conference.

Reynolds then joked about the fact that people don’t always have to be friendly with those that they disagree with.

“There’s still room for backstabbing someone and then tasting the blood of your enemies,” he joked. “But it’s never going to be as effective as trying to understand somebody.”

This wasn’t Reynolds’ first time discussing his work ethic. During an interview with theWall Street Journal in October 2021, he spoke candidly about his busy acting career, confessing that it has taken a toll on his mental health.

“I tend to bite off way more than I could or should chew,” he said. “I think maybe it’s just that Canadian sensibility: ‘Well, I said I was going to, so I have to deliver this.’”

“I fixate on things,” he added. “That’s sort of the engine of anxiety. I lay awake at night, wrapping and unwrapping every possible scenario. I slept at a perfect right angle for so many years.”