1997: the Gallaghers round Tony's. 2010: Jude Law chez Theresa. It's like Gordon never happened. Law could be seen yesterday afternoon perusing the corridors of the Home Office. In one hand – says our mole – he clasped "a square box and a plastic folder."

Feeling sensitive? The BBC is – or so it seems.

The last time Pandora heard from Jonathan Aitken he was in darkest Kazakhstan, inspecting prisons. This time it's Russia, where he is up to "all kind of things". So he can't talk at length, you understand. But he has this much to offer: his backing for Diane Abbott as leader of the Labour Party.

It wasn't the Internet wot won it, in the end, for David Cameron. Just as well, you might say. The modern man of a PM has yet to wrestle control of that all-important URL davidcameron.com. The website - set up, presumably, before predictions of a "digital election" forced every would-be MP to reveal their lunch details in under 140 characters (no redactions allowed) – is a one-tracked attack on the Conservative leader. The most recent entry describes how "Ashcroft and Clegg help Cameron hobble to power." Number 10 claim to be aware of the hatchet's existence, but know not whence it comes. As for whether or not there are any plans to attempt a buy-out, a spokesman declined to respond. If there are, they may prove costly. Its author is listed as one Reza Sobati. Back in 1999, after a similar stunt, Sobati put the address www.gordonbrown.com up for sale at a cool £30,000. Samantha's Christmas gift perhaps?

If FCO mandarins have found their workplace a little crowded over the past few days, here's one reason why: they appear to have been serving under two foreign secretaries. Sort of.

it isn't easy being Gordon. Ramsay, that is.

What better way to end this most momentous of weeks than with news of an old-fashioned Tory punch-up on the horizon?

As regular readers of this column will be aware, there has been genuine concern that earnest Westminster bulldog Adam Boulton has been working too hard.

In my defence, you could have been reading what might have been a mildly amusing story suggesting that the grumpy Sky News stalwart Adam Boulton's excessive workload led to his priceless hissy fit on live television this week.

While Gordon Brown ensured events in Westminster took a fresh twist yesterday, David Cameron's domestic arrangements were also the subject of some timely title-tattle among senior Tory colleagues.

Sir Paul McCartney's appearance on the Today programme yesterday provided a little welcome relief from the election coverage. Who knew it could prove so controversial?

It all could have been so different. Nick Clegg mouthing off about the "old politics"; David Cameron insisting that it was "time for change" and Gordon Brown urging the electorate to "beam him up" to Number 10. Or perhaps not.

He's done jailbird, and he's done author. Now, it appears that the ever-sinister David Irving is attempting life as a tour guide. The discredited historian, who once denied that Auschwitz existed to murder Jews, is offering punters the chance to take a guided tour of "Hitler's Headquarters and other historical sites". For $2,900 (£1,900), says a brochure for the trip, tourists will be given a tour of wartime headquarters, including the notorious "Wolf's Lair" in what is now Poland, and a visit to Treblinka death camp. Whether anyone will take the tour remains to be seen; Irving declined to tell Pandora of any interest. Even more curious is Irving's decision to use a quote from Mr Justice Gray's ruling at the Irving vs Lipstadt trial in order to sell the idea. Mr Justice Gray ruled that Irving had "manipulated historical evidence"; Irving, though, cites a rather more positive version of the ruling, quoting Mr Justice Gray on his website as claiming that his "knowledge of World War Two is unparalleled".

Hear that? It's the sound of Parliament's last cigar being stubbed out. Once a mark of Churchillian defiance, the wealthy man's gasper was long ago eschewed in favour of a Boden shirt and everyman tie as the political accessory of choice.

Only a cynic, surely, would suggest that Nick Clegg's public school background and upper-middle-class upbringing chip away at his credentials to be the British Obama.