‘What do they think he is, a woman’: Jimmy Kimmel’s 7 best zingers from the 2023 Oscars

Late night host takes over presenting duties from Chris Rock

Tom Murray
Monday 13 March 2023 03:47 GMT
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Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel cracks Will Smith slap gag

Oscars 2023 host Jimmy Kimmel predictably took aim at Will Smith’s infamous slap incident during his opening monologue.

However, the late-night talk show host didn’t stop there.

Follow The Independent’s live Oscars coverage here.

Tom Cruise, Babylon and the Academy itself also found themselves at the butt of Kimmel’s jokes on Sunday (12 March) evening.

Here are all his best quips from the night.

‘If anyone in this theatre commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor’

Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel (Getty Images)

“We want you to have fun, feel safe and, most importantly, we want me feel safe,” Kimmel told the audience. Kimmel’s predecessor Chris Rock was the one on the receiving end of Smith’s slap last year after making a joke at his wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s expense

“So, we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theatre commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and permitted to give a 19-minute long speech. But seriously, the academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the show, sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.”

“And if any of you get mad at a joke and decide you want to get jiggy with it – it’s not going to be easy,” Kimmel concluded, shouting out his proposed defenders in the audience like Creed star Michael B Jordan’s and Michelle Yeoh.

‘What do they think he is, a woman?’

Kimmel took aim at the Oscars’ lack of diversity using James Cameron’s snub in the Best Director category.

Avatar: The Way of Water,” Kimmel said. “I mean, how does the Academy not nominate the guy who directed Avatar? What do they think he is, a woman?”

‘Is the gang from “Babylon” here?’

Damien Chazelle’s star-studded 2022 flop, Babylon, wasn’t safe either. “There are some things that movies can do that TV just can’t. For example, a TV show can’t lose $100m. Is the gang from Babylon here? They know. I was just asking if they were I was welcoming them!”

Some people couldn’t help but feel the dig was a little harsh.

‘I can’t help but wonder “Is Ozempic right for me?”’

Kimmel had to poke fun at Hollywood’s new wonder drug, Ozempic. The popularity of the diabetes drug as a weight loss method has become increasingly popular amid reports of widespread use in the entertainment industry and social media.

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“Everybody looks so great. When I look around this room, I can’t help but wonder ‘Is Ozempic right for me?’”

‘It kind of makes you miss the slapping’

Two hours into the Oscars live telecast, Kimmel joked: “At this point in the show, it kind of makes you miss the slapping a little bit, right?

‘Let’s get you back on that Spirit Airlines flight’

It might not have been Kimmel’s funniest moment of the night, but bringing Jenny the donkey from Banshees of Inisherin on stage was an undoubted highlight.

“Not only is Jenny an actor, she’s a certified emotional support donkey,” said Kimmel. “If you are feeling upset or anxious or just love mules, feel free to give her a hug.”

Kimmel reignited his nearly two-decade-long feud with Matt Damon at the Oscars. He asked Jessica Chastain in the audience: “Was it difficult filming your movie The Martian because your co-star Matt Damon can’t read and smells like dog medicine?”

“I didn’t really have a lot of scenes with him, so it was fine,” Chastain responded.

Find the full list of 2023 Oscar nominees and winners here.

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