In a recent post shared in the popular Reddit subreddit, “Am I the A**hole?” a Reddit user who goes by the username u/Certain-Structure699 detailed how she and her husband managed to become “financially secure,” after growing up in poverty. As parents, they also said that they made sure that their children knew the value of hard work.
“We raised our children to work hard,” she explained. “We did not spoil them or provide them with a lavish life. As teens they all had part-time jobs but we did purchase them their own used cars which they were required to maintain. We also paid for college.”
While they gave their two oldest children money for their weddings, the woman and her husband “did not provide any input or suggestions unless asked”.
However, the only thing they didn’t pay for at the events was their “son’s tuxedo and [their] oldest daughter’s wedding dress,” with the Reddit user noting that she and her husband have now kept these rules in mind for their third child’s upcoming wedding.
“Our youngest daughter, Michaela, is engaged and we are paying for her wedding with the exception of her dress, she must buy her own wedding dress,” the post reads.
Michaela’s parents accompanied her to the bridal shop, where she purchased her dress. “She found a beautiful dress in her budget and we were so honoured to have been allowed to take part in her finding the dress and seeing herself as a bride,” the bride’s mother explained.
The woman then revealed that, while she was at the bridal store, she had complimented a different woman, who was engaged, on the dress that she was wearing. From there, it sparked a conversation about how the bride and groom came from “low-income” families, with the bride revealing that her parents took out loans to pay for her “beautiful wedding”.
The woman recalled how the bride had gone to “six different stores” and couldn’t find a dress in her size, before finding the dress that she was wearing at the time.
“The bride is also plus-sized and I learned that she’d been to six different stores and there had only been a few options for her size and all of them had just been awful,” the woman continued. “The bride ended up falling in love with the last dress she tried but was heartbroken to learn that the consultant had misread the price tag, and the dress was actually $1,000 over budget. With alterations to make it her size, it was another $1,400. The bride took the dress off and said she’d try to find something online.”
The original poster [OP] then remembered how she used to be “bullied” at school because of her looks and said that she “saw [herself] in this bride”. So, she stepped in and offered to help pay for the dress.
“I grew up poor and I was also a chubby kid,” she wrote. “I was bullied and I was very unhappy. I always wanted more and in this bride I saw myself and I didn’t want her to have to settle for a dress that fit versus a dress she loved. So, while my daughter was changing, I asked the other bride if I could pay the difference on her dress.”
“It was very emotional, we all held each other and cried, she accepted,” she added. “I very happily paid the difference on her dress.”
The woman then revealed that she became Friends with the bride and her mother on Facebook, and that she and her husband were also invited to the bride’s wedding, which they “will gladly attend”.
She expressed how honoured she felt after helping the woman “in a small way,” which made the wedding invitation feel “so unexpected and so amazing”.
However, according to the woman, when her daughter found out about the gesture, she was not happy, with the Reddit user claiming her daughter “threw a fit”.
“[Michaela] said that I obviously had shown how I truly feel about her wedding and herself, and [that] if I cared at all, I’d have paid for her dress too,” the woman wrote. “She’s now not speaking to me or to her father (who didn’t even have a hand in this, which is unfair). She has now uninvited us from the wedding. We’re so hurt and confused.”
The mother also noted how Michaela didn’t find out about the wedding dress purchase until a “few hours later at dinner when her dad accidentally revealed it”.
In the comments, the mother also revealed that she’s already spent $26,000 on her daughter’s wedding, but expects to pay closer to $50,000.
As of 7 April, the post has more than 8,000 upvotes, with many readers in the comments coming to the woman’s defence and applauding her for helping out the other bride.
“You saw a young lady in need and you helped,” one Reddit user wrote. “That’s something your daughter should be proud of. You should let her know how disappointed you are at the selfishness that she’s showing. It’s too bad she didn’t inherit your empathy or generosity.”
“What an amazing act of kindness OP [original poster] does for this stranger and instead of learning a lesson and being grateful for what she has, lil miss spoiled daughter throws a fit,” another comment reads. “I’m so happy for what OP did for this family.”
Other readers claimed that the OP’s daughter was being ungrateful in this situation, as her mother has already spent a lot of money on wedding.
“You are paying for her freaking wedding!” one Reddit user wrote. “Your daughter is acting very entitled. Tell her you are no longer paying for her wedding, as you are no longer invited. I bet she changes her tune REAL quick.”
“Your daughter is spoiled rotten. Sorry,” another person claimed. “You paid for someone to have their dream dress because they wouldn’t be able to otherwise, and your daughter is mad that you’re ONLY shelling out how many thousands for her?”
While the majority of comments assured the woman that she had not done anything wrong, some Reddit users said they sympathised with the daughter and understood why she was hurt by her mother’s kind gesture. “I can see why she [is] upset. I would be [if a] parent [paid] for another bride’s dress but won’t [for] her own [child]. And the dress is so important in a wedding,” one person wrote.
The Independent has contacted u/Certain-Structure699 for comment.
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