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9 best quiet vibrators that don’t compromise on power or performance

Don’t let any awkward buzzing or whirring disrupt your self pleasure

Caroline Barry
Thursday 31 March 2022 14:14 BST
<p>All of the vibrators we tested come with a variety of speeds, intensities and benefits that make it possible to tailor the toy to the experience you want</p>

All of the vibrators we tested come with a variety of speeds, intensities and benefits that make it possible to tailor the toy to the experience you want

When it comes to sharing a room or a house with someone, it can be really hard to keep certain things private, especially when it comes to sex toys. You may get some alone time or have a room of your own but it can be embarrassing to have your housemates hear your vibrator in the next room, not to mention off-putting. It can also be a problem for those who are neurodiverse and sensitive to sounds like buzzing or whirring.

There isn’t anything wrong with a little mood music to cover any noise produced by vibrators but sometimes even turning it up to eleven doesn’t work. Some toys are simply not made for house share situations. Luckily this is starting to change thanks to advances in sex tech which focus on making vibrators more ‘real-world friendly.’ This includes quieter noise levels, rechargeable batteries, app pairing, waterproofing and also functions that can record your preferred speeds.

While all of this is welcome – when it comes to selection, where you do even start? It can be seriously intimidating to walk into a sex shop and completely overwhelming when it comes to the rows of toys on offer. Some brands recommend that you hold the toy to the tip of your nose (no seriously) to test how it would feel against your genitals. Although this may not be possible when online shopping.

All of the vibrators we tested come with a variety of speeds, intensities and benefits that make it possible to tailor the toy to the experience you want. If you like a particular vibration then some will offer you the chance to increase the speed or slow it down. It can take a few goes before you find the right vibrator and let’s face it, it’s a lot of fun testing them out.

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How we tested

When searching for sex toys, we took into account the price point as some vibrators can be expensive and money may be an issue. Dexterity and grip may be difficult for some so the reviews do mention where this may be a problem with the toys or packaging as it’s helpful to know in advance if you may need a hand with opening or applying the toys.

The toys were tested by one non-binary person who has a vulva and clitoris. The reviewer is also a lesbian so this was reflected in the toys selected in that there were no toys aimed at penis-owners or any toys that resembled male genitals. Each toy was tested a few times at different speeds or settings usually in bed. Those that were waterproof were tested in a shower and lubricant was used with one insertion toy.

The best quiet vibrators for 2022 are:

  • Best overall – The SmileMakers the artist vibrator: £107.01, Lookfantastic.com
  • Best for G spot stimulation – Mystery Vibe poco vibrator: £96.75, Mysteryvibe.com
  • Best affordable yet powerful toy – Unbound PEP: £29, Beautybay.com
  • Best luxury – Ann Summers u self love clitoral stimulator: £100, Annsummers.com
  • Best eco option – The Natural Love Company Cassia: £59.95, Thenaturallovecompany.com
  • Best for beginners – Naked Grapefruit first base vibrator: £25.99, Nakedgrapefruit.com
  • Best for discreet fun – So Divine amour lipstick vibrator: £30, So-divine.com
  • Best for gentle vibrations –Satisfyer air pulse pro 2: £53.95, Satisfyer.com
  • Best for alone time – Lelo Sila pink/lilac: £159, Beautybay.com

The SmileMakers the artist vibrator

SmileMakers.png

Best: Overall

Rating: 9/10

The SmileMakers has truly made one of the quietest sex toys on the market. It needs no music, closed doors or raised TV volumes to cover it which means it’s perfect for grabbing and going with the moment.

This was one of two toys that could be inserted into the vagina but it was the only one to have a dual motor option. It’s been specifically designed to be the perfect fit for vulva owners but can also be adjusted. It comes with nine pulsation modes and two sensors on the side of the vibrator that you can squeeze to adjust the speed to your liking. If you press both buttons together then you can unlock what the brand calls creative mode, which means you can change the vibrations in each part of the toy to operate at different speeds.

The base of the vibe was really easy to grip meaning it can be easily grasped if dexterity is an issue. Although the buttons were a tiny bit on the small side, the sensors are a great idea and easy to operate. It was also a welcome change to see the insertion part of the vibrator wasn’t penis-shaped but a smooth non-gendered shape.

This was the best one we reviewed for several reasons as it is practically silent which makes it ideal for shared homes. The price point is also really reasonable as it’s quite an affordable and powerful vibrator. It’s rechargeable as well so no need to raid the TV remote looking for batteries. The small silk bag was a nice touch in that it could be easily hidden or placed in a drawer after use.

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Mystery Vibe poco vibrator

Poco.png

Best: For G spot stimulation

Rating: 8/10

The poco vibrator is truly a smart bit of sex tech. It’s designed to mimic the feel of a finger in that it can bend into an almost U-shape in the body with even a small bit of pressure. This makes it perfect for hitting the G-spot as it can mimic the “come here” motion made with a finger. Alternatively, it can be used on the clitoris on its own. Oddly, it can be incredibly satisfying to snap the vibe back and forth with your hands so it could double as a stress toy. Although that might be one to keep to yourself.

There is some noise with the poco but it is minimal. A firmly closed door should cover the noise it makes which is like a low pulsating buzz. The changing speeds, bending ability and intensity settings make it a very powerful purchase.

The vibrator features eight pre-set speeds which can be further varied with 16 different intensities so you can slow down or speed up when you need to. If you do find a setting that suits you then you can program it to remember your choice using the app that pairs with it. It’s also showerproof as well so if you share a room or fancy a change of location, you can take it with you. The only downside of the toy was the lack of a bag to keep it and the charger in. Toys and chargers are easily lost in bedside cabinet drawers.

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Unbound PEP

Unbound.png

Best: Affordable toy

Rating: 8/10

The pep vibrator from Unbound is one of the most discreet and compact vibrators that we tested. While there is some noise that increases with the vibrations, it is also one of the quietest.

It has two sides to the rounded vibrator, one soft and one hard which works well for users who prefer a mix of textures. As well as the change in texture, the vibrator features five speeds and three different patterns that you can tailor to your preferences. Don’t be fooled by its small shape as the settings on this vibrator can be as strong as some of the larger ones we tested. The shape was also a welcome break from the more phallic-shaped vibrators. It does need a travel pouch though as it doesn’t come with anything.

The price point is also super accessible, making this a great first purchase for someone new to the world of vibrators. It is a great choice for anyone looking to avoid the fuss of the more techy toys that need apps or gadgets. Simply switch on and off you go.

It is also very travel friendly, as it is not immediately obvious what it is. This makes it perfect for shared rooms where you might prefer to hide it. The only downside to the vibe is the line that runs around the middle which may make it a bit more difficult to clean, but knowing that means you can pay more attention to it. The vibe is also waterproof up to three feet so it’s bath or shower friendly too.

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Ann Summers u self love clitorial stimulator

Ann Summers.png

Best: Luxury toy

Rating: 8/10

This clitoral stimulator didn’t come to play. It’s a strong piece of kit, offering five intensities and different speeds. It’s called the u self-love because, well, it’s literally shaped like a u.

The vibe itself is a bit intimidating in that it is such an unusual shape, but in a good way. It is designed to “cradle not penetrate” which felt a bit confusing at first. This was the first toy that we had to read the manual for to figure out how to use it. Nothing says sexy like a good guidebook but once that was out of the way, it was relatively easy to use. This might be a good purchase for someone looking for a new toy rather than their first.

It scored points for the intensity, the on and off button is simple to find during the event in question. In terms of sound, it’s a low purr as opposed to anything that would frighten your neighbours. It does, as with most vibes, increase with the speeds so if you are in a shared house, it might be good to keep it on the down-low so you aren’t overheard.

While the review isn’t about packaging, Ann Summers has outdone itself with what feels like a luxury product. As it’s all focused on self-love, it felt a bit like an event opening the beautifully decorated box. It was a bit fiddly to get the toy out so that may be a bit of an issue for anyone with dexterity issues, as is positioning the toy.

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The Natural Love Company Cassia

natural love.png

Best: Eco option

Rating: 8/10

The Natural Love Company was the only brand to send in a vibrator that had absolutely no sound whatsoever – a glass dildo. However, sadly, it doesn’t vibrate so while it was appreciated, it didn’t quite qualify.

Instead, we tried the Cassia, which has a long slim body that can be used for easy insertion and a curved head for clitoral stimulation. It has a range of ten powerful vibrations and intensities which can be easily selected using the buttons at the top of the toy. It is made from incredibly soft, body-safe silicone too.

The vibrations from Cassia were quite quiet so it could easily be used without someone immediately knowing what was going on. The simple, easy-to-use design made it perfect for beginners or anyone a bit overwhelmed by gadget-y sex tech options. Another bonus to the toy is that it’s waterproof, meaning it can be taken “on location” to the shower or bath. This might not sound like much but it’s nice to mix it up now and again.

One of the best features of the Cassia is the battery life which lasts up to one hour. No one wants to be reaching for the charger every five minutes so it’s nice to see a toy that is built to last. Natural Love Company is a great choice for anyone worried about the eco-impact of their sex toys: it is striving to be carbon-neutral while being rechargeable, arriving in very beautiful zero plastic packaging and re-usable compostable pouches to keep it in.

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Naked Grapefruit first base vibrator

Naked Grapefruit.png

Best: For beginners

Rating: 7/10

The first base vibrator by Naked Grapefruit was off to a good start the minute we opened it. It arrived with a small bag of vegan jelly beans and stickers as well as the distinctive orange and pink packaging.

First Base makes a great first vibrator for anyone feeling overwhelmed by gadgets and buttons. Bullet vibrators make a great no muss, no fuss option that is generally designed for clitoral stimulation. One downside to bullet vibrators is that they often come with two settings: on or off.

However, First Base has seven different speeds which can be changed by clicking on the base of the vibrator. It’s also waterproof, rechargeable and made from body-safe silicone. There is some noise when it is switched on but nothing that couldn’t be covered with the sound of a TV or light music. Bullet vibrators do tend to be a little louder but this is one of the quieter options on the market.

The small size of the toy, which measures 90mm, allows it to be hidden easily or tucked into a pocket. It’s a welcome change to see so many rechargeable toys on the market in comparison to battery-operated devices although you may have to find a discreet place to charge it up.

The affordable price is another huge plus, as it is a powerful yet simple design. It also has the added advantage of being designed by an all-female team who are dedicated to making toys that bring on “leg-shaking, pulse-racing pleasure.”

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So Divine amour lipstick vibrator

So Divine.png

Best: For discreet fun

Rating: 7/10

Is it a vibrator or is it a lipstick? This really is a quiet vibrator and thanks to its lipstick-esque shape, it is one of the most discreet. Also, it’s fun knowing that the vibrator can be placed anywhere without anyone immediately understanding what it is.

The noise levels are minimal with this toy as it’s whisper quiet. It would make a great gift or first-time purchase as it’s a fun alternative to standard bullet vibrators. The So Divine lipstick vibrator is also softer than it looks. This works better for those who prefer a softer silicone texture but those who need a firmer toy may be disappointed. What won’t disappoint anyone is the powerful three speeds and seven intensities.

For a small vibrator, this has powerful vibrations but again, the silicone tip was slightly too soft for us. Another small downside is the lack of a bag to keep the charger and vibrator together. Although, it is worth noting that it’s easily hidden in handbags or drawers due to its tiny size and the lid helps to keep the toy clean when not in use.

It’s one of the easiest vibrators to operate too as it needs no complicated wires, app pairing or frustrating button combinations. It’s simply pressed on, select the speed and go; which is actually refreshing as who has time to wait for an app to download?

This would be a great vibrator for anyone looking for something easy to use, a softer texture or someone who wants a discreet yet powerful plaything.

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Satisfyer air pulse pro 2

Satisfier Pro.png

Best: For gentle vibrations

Rating: 6/10

This is a completely different type of toy in that it doesn’t vibrate but pulsates with a purring sound. It uses wave technology to stimulate the clitoris which makes for a very quiet yet powerful vibrator. It is worth noting though, that the higher of the eleven different speeds, means more noise. So what starts out incredibly quiet, may get louder as you get more into it. But it’s nothing a good Spotify playlist can’t cover. The gentle waves are great for anyone who is slightly more sensitive or doesn’t want an overpowering toy.

At times it was difficult to position so it could be a bit tougher for someone who may struggle with dexterity or anyone who needs a firmer product. The waves are also great for anyone who prefers a lighter touch. It makes a great next step toy for someone looking for something a little different or needs an upgrade from their existing toy due to its wave technology function.

The toy is also waterproof so it can be taken into the shower or bathtub. It’s incredibly quiet underwater too. One downside to the vibrator is the charger in that it connects magnetically to via two dots at the base of the toy. It was incredibly awkward to get it to stay connected and it kept sliding off. This is a new style of charger that keeps appearing on different toys but it’s not super effective.

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Lelo sila pink/lilac

Lelo.png

Best: For alone time

Rating: 6/10

Although this was one of the louder products that we sampled, it is worth popping on a playlist for to cover the sound. The sila uses sonic waves and soft silicone that offers a gentle yet intense clitoral massage. It has eight different speeds which, as with all clitorial stimulators, increases in volume as you move through the settings. The sonic waves are great for anyone who is more sensitive or trying to avoid being overstimulated by their vibrator which can lead to discomfort.

The shape is one of the more unusual vibrators on offer – the round shape is easy to grip and the larger mouth shape means it is less awkward to manoeuvre into place. Another unusual feature of this toy is its cruise control option. It automatically regulates the power to maintain its speed and strength, preserving 20 per cent of the full power for backup just in case. It also comes with a cute little bag to pop it in afterwards keeping it safely hidden for next time.

It is one of the most innovative toys on the market but sadly, it is the loudest of the bunch we tested. It’s nothing that would alarm your neighbours but it is worth noting that your housemates may know what’s up. So this might be the perfect investment for those days when you have the house or bathroom to yourself.

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The verdict: Quiet vibrators

When it came to our favourite sexy yet silent toy, the The SmilerMaker’s artist took the prize for being practically silent, no matter what setting it was on. It also proved that you don’t need to compromise on design or power to create a quiet vibe. It can also be used in multiple ways which makes it a good all-round vibrator for anyone who likes to mix it up or couples who like different styles of vibration such as insertion or clitoral – it had something for everyone.

Unbound’s small pep vibrator and the bendable poco toy from Mystery Vibe also get an honourable mention for thinking outside the box when it comes to design. Ultimately, it’s worth assessing how much noise you can tolerate when it comes to selecting a toy, as there will always be some level of noise when it comes to sex toys that vibrate.

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